Why it doesn’t matter to your dog that the monsters can’t hurt them

It's not uncommon for dogs to be a little bit worried about certain things. Often these can seem like small things to us: strangers approaching, being touched in a certain place or novel objects or sounds. Some people find this really difficult to understand, especially when nothing bad has happened to their dog. Why would they be worried about people in hats if no-one has ever hurt them, especially not someone wearing a hat? We know our dogs are safe so why don't they?

As a society we have this kind of romanticised image of dogs as these happy-go-lucky animals who live in the moment and have no worries. But that's just not true. Dogs are emotionally complex animals who have the ability to feel anxiety and fear, just like us. This means that people can easily forget to consider that their dog might actually be a bit scared about some things. When we don't take into account that our dogs could be anxious, even if that thing has never hurt them, we fail to meet their emotional needs.

I personally have a lot of experience with anxiety: I've had an anxiety disorder for years and I have a dog with an anxiety disorder (maybe it is true that dogs and their people have similar personalities). Unfortunately, anxiety isn't rational and I find myself becoming anxious about the most ridiculous things. Sometimes I have moments of rising anxiety and even I can't think of the reason.

But there's one thing I'm anxious about really makes no sense: I'm scared of the Cybermen from Doctor Who*. And no, not in a reasonable hiding-behind-the-sofa-when-they're-on-TV kinda way. Not even in a can't-sleep-the-night-after-an-episode way. I am genuinely always scared they're coming to get me and have been pretty much since the first Cyberman episode I saw in 2006 (yep, I've been scared of them more than half my life). As I'm writing this, the last Cyberman episode was over 18 months ago and I can't sleep without a night light because if it's pitch black I imagine one staring at me. I slightly panic when going downstairs at night just in case there's one in my kitchen. And if I'm out walking somewhere quiet, I'm more worried a Cyberman will appear rather than considering the actual possibility a person might attack me.

Hattie ready to protect me from my fears just like I protect her…

You might be thinking: but that makes no sense, Cybermen are not real, they can't hurt you. And I know, but that doesn't stop my brain being on high alert and preparing my body for fight-or-flight. I can keep telling myself they don't exist but that doesn't change the fact I'm anxious, because anxiety isn't rational.

We do have an awareness that people can be worried about something that isn't going to hurt them: we call them phobias, we even come up with Greek names for as many of these different irrational fears as we can. So if we can understand that someone might be scared of spiders despite the fact they live in the UK and we don't have venomous spiders, why do we find it strange that our dogs might be scared of statues despite a statue not being able to hurt them? Why do we expect our dogs to have the ability to be logical and rational about their fears when we as a species are unable to?

We need to not only pay more attention to our dog's body language so we can hear them when they tell us they're worried, we need to stop trying to rationalise those anxieties. Instead of stressing about why our dogs are anxious or why they would be worried about something benign, we just need to accept their fears and work with them to get over those fears.

When my dog panics, I sometimes have no idea what has scared her. And often I can't work out why she coped with something yesterday but today she's terrified of it. Yes, I do try to understand what has scared her so I can protect her in the future. But I don't stand there trying to tell myself she shouldn't be anxious, I get her the hell out of the situation. After all, my job is to keep her safe, and safety is as much about how we feel as it is about not being in physical danger.

Unsurprisingly, I couldn’t actually use a photo of a Cyberman (not just because it would freak me out). So I had to be inventive - luckily as a true nerd I had some options…

*If you don't know what I'm talking about, they're these metal humans that have zero emotions and travel across the universe with the sole aim of finding more humans to turn into Cybermen. They're pretty scary, if you're 5.

Written by Juniper Indigo, dog trainer in Tiverton and Exeter