Help! My puppy is crying all night!

After weeks preparing for your puppy, they’re finally home. You’ve bought all the cute toys, chosen their adorable first collar and EVENTUALLY everyone’s agreed on your puppy’s name. You had an amazing first day with your puppy. They’re sweet and cuddly and playful and perfect. You’re way more in love than you ever thought possible. But now it’s 2am. And your puppy’s been crying for hours. You’re feeling exhausted and you’re starting to wonder whether you’ve made the worst mistake ever…

Don’t worry, I promise you haven’t made a mistake. And you’re definitely not failing your puppy. It’s very normal for puppies to cry when left alone. In fact, I’d be concerned if your puppy wasn’t. But that doesn’t mean it’s not heart wrenching to listen to your tiny new puppy howl. All your instincts are telling you to go and comfort your crying puppy. And your instincts are exactly right. So if you’re listening to your puppy cry right now, go and comfort them. And then you can come back and read why…

Why your puppy is crying at night

Moving in with you is the biggest day of your puppy’s life so far. They’ve left their mum, their siblings, their safe humans and the only home they’ve ever known. They’re now in a strange place with strange people. And even though you’ve been kind to them, that’s all very scary. Your home is full of new sounds and new smells and they’re suddenly all alone and have no idea whether they’re safe.

Especially since they’ve probably never slept alone before. They’ve always been surrounded by their mum and siblings. They’ve slept cuddled up warm and comforted by the familiar smell of their family. If something scared your puppy they’d cry and their mum would reassure them. Yes, you’ve made their bed all cosy with a toy they can snuggle up to. But that’s not going to help them settle when they need someone to come and give them a big cuddle and protect them from whatever’s scaring them.

Going from sleeping cuddled up with their siblings to sleeping alone is a big change for your puppy

No, your puppy doesn’t need to ‘cry it out’

If you’ve done any research into what to do when your puppy cries you’ve probably seen people saying you should leave your puppy to ‘cry it out’. They’ll tell you that if you leave your puppy to cry they’ll learn to self-soothe. And that if you go to your puppy whenever they cry you’ll just teach them to cry more. Unfortunately those people are VERY WRONG. If you leave your puppy to cry they won’t learn to comfort themselves. They’ll probably eventually stop crying. But that’s only because they’ve learnt that no-one is coming to comfort them. Puppies who stop crying to ask for reassurance aren’t coping better, they’re more scared and anxious but they’ve just learnt crying is a waste of energy. Yes, your puppy might cry to get you to come to them. But that’s a good thing. In your first few weeks with your puppy, the most important thing is teaching your puppy that you’ll keep them safe. If your puppy learns you’ll comfort them when they’re scared then you’re setting amazing foundations for your relationship with your puppy.

Leaving your puppy to cry at night also makes your life so much harder. Lying awake for hours listening to your puppy cry leaves you exhausted. If you’re not getting enough sleep you might get the puppy blues and start to struggle with all the important things you need to do with your puppy like training and socialising them. You’ll also find it much harder to settle your puppy if you do go to them after leaving them to cry. If you go and comfort your puppy and give them a chance to toilet when you hear those first whimpers, they’ll still be pretty sleepy and relaxed so they’ll probably go right back to sleep after. But by the time your puppy is howling they’ve got themselves very stressed and upset. They’ll be wide awake and full of energy so they can be alert to any threats and protect themselves if necessary. Once your puppy’s in this state, calming them down and getting them back to sleep can be very hard.

Comforting your puppy when they cry will help them get back to sleep quicker

Helping your puppy sleep at night

It’s best to sleep next to your puppy for at least the first 3 or 4 nights. This will help them feel safer and sleep better. And you’ll be able to hear when your puppy wakes and quickly and easily comfort them and take them to the toilet if necessary. If your long term plan is for your puppy to sleep in a different room to you that’s fine. Either you can sleep next to where your puppy will be sleeping long term or they can sleep in your room temporarily.

When your puppy’s ready you can slowly increase the distance between you and your puppy until you’re both sleeping where you will be permanently. Getting a baby monitor is a good idea if you’ll be sleeping apart from your puppy. You’ll be able to hear your puppy over the monitor when they start to whimper and go to them quickly. Otherwise you might not hear your puppy until they’ve been crying for a while. It can also help to give your puppy the t-shirt you’ve worn that day to sleep with. Your puppy will be comforted by your smell when they’re alone and they’ll sleep better.

Written by Juniper Indigo, dog trainer in Tiverton and Exeter