Surviving the puppy blues

Before you brought your puppy home you imagined what looking after them would be like. You thought you’d have this adorable best friend who’d bring so much joy to your life. But your reality is very different. You’re tired, feeling like everything you’re doing is wrong and you’re starting to wonder whether you should just return your puppy to their breeder.

I know you’re feeling like you’re failing but I promise you that you’re not. You’re doing great and you’re not alone in feeling like this. What you’re experiencing is completely normal - it’s called the puppy blues.

Why people get the puppy blues

Puppies are hard work and looking after them is exhausting. They need constant supervision to make sure they don’t pee all over your carpets or injure themselves by chewing on dangerous stuff. You’re not getting much rest during the day and you’re not even getting much sleep because your puppy is crying for you all night. You’re also probably not eating as well as usual because who’s got time to cook a proper meal when caring for a young puppy.

Add in all the stress of your puppy biting you, trying to decide how to socialise your puppy, teaching them all the skills they’ll need as an adult and worrying whether you’re raising them the right way. You’re feeling really overwhelmed and it’s not a surprise your mental health has got worse. 

Luckily puppies are ADORABLE. Because otherwise we’d want nothing to do with them…

Look after your mental health

To start with, try to stop beating yourself up about how you’re feeling. I know that’s hard but the more you feel bad for feeling bad, the worse you’ll feel. It’s ok to feel like this - it doesn’t mean you don’t love your puppy or you’re not able to care for them. Then try to find ways you can get a bit more rest. If there are other adults caring for your puppy, take it in turns to watch them and do the night toilet trips. You’ll both get more time to relax and more sleep - meaning you’ll both feel better and more able to care for your puppy.

If you’re the only adult in your home, ask friends, family, neighbours or colleagues whether they want to watch your puppy while you go for a walk or grab a coffee. Someone’s likely to say yes because puppies are adorable. And they’re all not quite so aware as you are how difficult looking after puppies is. If you don’t have anyone to ask, consider finding a dog walker who can come and look after your puppy for an hour instead.

Make your puppy a place (like a crate or puppy pen) where you can leave them and know they’ll be safe when you come back. We all need 20 minutes away from our puppies to relax sometimes. And you’ll find it much easier to chill out and recharge your batteries if you don’t have to worry whether your puppy is destroying your cushions, chewing on cables or peeing on your nice rug.

Celebrate the wins

When you’re in a bad place mentally, it’s easy to focus on the negatives. All you can think about is the sleepless nights, the toilet accidents and how often your puppy’s biting you. Soon you’re feeling like everything’s going wrong and you’re not able to see anything good about having a puppy. But there’s ALWAYS something good and you need to teach yourself to focus on that instead. The easiest way to do that is to just write down at least one good thing everyday in a notebook (and NO bad things). You’ll start to notice the small positives - and you can look at the notebook when you’re feeling low to remind yourself that having a puppy isn’t all bad.

Rewards aren’t just for dogs, so take time to reward yourself when good things happen. Whether it’s a day with no accidents, a play session with no biting or your puppy’s finally learnt their name, there are always plenty of things to celebrate. So find a way to reward yourself when things are going well. You could sit down with a glass or wine or a beer, order a takeaway or have a lovely bath. Or anything else that makes you happy…

Reward yourself as well as your dog when they learn new things like sitting - it’s your achievement too.

Don’t struggle on your own

A lot of puppy carers struggle unnecessarily because they try to train their puppy on their own. There might be really small changes you could make that will make having a puppy much easier. But if you don’t know what they are, they’re useless to you. That’s why having a trainer to support you and your puppy is so important. I can help you if you’re struggling with common puppy problems like toilet training and puppy biting so you can relax and enjoy your puppy. And I can help you get your puppy’s training and socialisation off to the right start to set you both up for your amazing life together. If you want to stop worrying about whether you’re doing the right thing for your puppy and start feel confident that you’re giving them the best start, then the Your Young Adventurer 1-2-1 puppy training programme is for you.

Written by Juniper Indigo, dog trainer in Tiverton and Exeter